I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
