I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
