Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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