on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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