I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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