Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
