That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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