I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
