Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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