If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
