Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
