what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I deserve this hangover.
i out mim tonsoeep
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize