i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
