it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
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My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
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My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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