3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
