Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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