Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
