chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
