The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Randomize
