i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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