Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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