you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
