I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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