At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Quick, to the slutcave!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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