Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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