before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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