i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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