Where is the hickey?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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