Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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