Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
