Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
