im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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