so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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