So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
