He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
