why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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