That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
