i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize