I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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