Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
