i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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