The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
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I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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