I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
