lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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