i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
