maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
