It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
