you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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