No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
operation have a gay friend backfired
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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