I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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