Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
