I haven't been this sober since birth.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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