I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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