i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
