Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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