I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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