maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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