i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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