I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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